TV Rankings: Week 1

There’s a part of me that thinks maybe I shouldn’t watch so much tv.  Then there’s a part of me that thinks I should embrace it.  This was an idea I had last year, and am finally putting into effect this year.  Because everything in my world is a competition, why not rank the tv shows I watch, too?
So here are the rules…
  • I must have watched the show in order to be ranked.
  • If it ranks too low, it falls into the dead list, which means I’m officially giving up on the show.
  • All shows are for a given week Sunday – Saturday
  • If I’m missing a show that you think I should watch, let me know, but understand that your taste in shows may be far inferior to mine, and I may not accept your challenge.
  • These are only my opinions, there is no panel of experts, but given that they are my opinion, they must be correct.
So here are the rankings for week 1:
  1. Raising Hope: Prodigy | Every other returning show this week seemed to start slow and feel the need to establish a ton of story lines.  Raising Hope nailed it with a quick cold open that explained the show to any new viewers, then delivered everything a Raising Hope fan was looking for.
  2. Parks & Recreation: I’m Leslie Knope | Had the most quotable line of the week: “Your inbox is lit-er-alee… full of penises.”  I was disappointed in the Tammy 1 reveal, but Ron Swanson made up for it because he has the toes he has… not to mention Jerry’s large… well…1
  3. Community: Biology 101 | 4 words: Cold open musical number
  4. Modern Family: Dude Ranch / When Good Kids Go Bad | Exactly what we expect from Modern Family.  Solid laughs, no much story.  It’s definitely fun to have Lily as a character now, instead of just a prop.
  5. New Girl: Pilot | I saw a clip of this show and thought I may give it a chance. So I did. The same clip was 100x better in context. This show turned out surprisingly good.  We’ll see if it sustains it.  Also, I totally want to date the new girl.
  6. Free Agents: What I Did for Work | Fact: Hank Azaria is awesome.  So is the weird assistant woman.
  7. The Office: The List | I know we’re all supposed to hate The Office, but I don’t. I don’t like that the resolved everything in a 30 second voice over, though. But Michael Scott wasn’t the only great character.  The rest are all still here, including Gabe, who I thought wouldn’t be.  Not sure Andy Bernard can maintain the manager spot, but he came through in the story.
  8. Up All Night: Cool Neighbors | Let’s see how long this show can sustain itself based on my lifelong crush on Christina Applegate.
  9. Person of Interest: Pilot | I’m not sure exactly where the interest is.  I expected more from a show starring Ben Linus and Jesus. Not dead list yet, but it may head there…
Whitney: Pilot | I made it through the first act and it got deleted from the DVR at the first commercial break.  It’s a bad sign when the thing I liked most about it was Whitney saying, “This show is filmed before a live studio audience.”2
Best line of the week:
 If I wanted an A-flat minor I would have had you go play with your girlfriend’s chest.
Mr. Jingles via Maw Maw on Raising Hope

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Notes:
  1. “That man has the largest penis I have ever seen.
  2. Please, for the love of God, let the 3 camera sitcom die! Why scream low production value and rattle of predictable lines all the time? If I want that I can just watch 2 1/2 Men.