1. Everyone has a good story about a terrible job. But today let’s focus on the single thing you hated most. What was the worst part of your worst job?

Working as a plumber my for a summer on K-State’s campus I had to rod out the sewage lines in the Jardine Apartments. All you can really do is pretend you have no idea what’s coming out of that line, and that it’s not nearly as bad as the reality.

2. My daughter Charlotte (4) informed me that she “hates Nemo” for limiting our mobility. The Weather Channel wins. What other things should we start naming?

Donuts. Definitely donuts.

3. We want to add a bunch of kitchen gadgets to the mental_floss store. We need some suggestions! What perhaps-lesser-known kitchen items have made a big impact on your cooking and eating life? They could be made by big corporations or tiny companies still looking for a break.

My hot chocolate maker. Seriously.  I can make all sorts of drinks that essentially fake coffee shop fancy drinks. At least better than a gas station machine does.

4. The floor is yours. If you’ve got a question for your fellow _flossers, ask away!

Ok, this one makes no sense when I move it over to my blog… so how about this… you ask me a question in the comments if you want, and I’ll answer.

“Because if God is for us, no one can be against us.” -Ray Lewis

Ray Lewis is the subject of plenty of jokes.  And I made a few of my own throughout the game as well.  But after the game we got yet another form of the traditional post-game “we did this because God wanted us to win” speech.  And of course the natural next step to that is that if God wanted Ray Lewis and the Ravens to win the Superbowl that would also mean that He has something against Collin Kaepernick and the 49ers.  God sure is cruel, isn’t He?

So it got me thinking about what would happen if someone were to give a more theologically accurate post-game speech:

“I’d like to thank my teammates for working hard and accomplishing this goal.  We won because we didn’t get called for a holding call in the end zone that may have given San Francisco a chance at the end, and overall we just outplayed the 49ers.

“I’d like to thank God for being my guide.  He sent his Son, Jesus, to shows us the way.  He taught us to love our enemies (which based on the fights we saw on the field today, we could still learn from).  He taught us to stay humble and learn to put others ahead of ourselves.  He taught us that blessed are the poor in spirit, the meek, those who mourn, and those who thirst for hunger and righteousness.  He said blessed are the pure in heart, the peacemakers, and those who are persecuted.  He may not care much about who wins a football game, but He cares what we do with our lives off the field. Let’s make the world a better place.”

It’s just so much harder to say that before Jim Nantz pulls the microphone away.

Twinkie the Kid
1930 – 2012

With 39 ingredients, 150 shamelessly empty calories and, officially, a shelf life of about three weeks, the Twinkie is a cream-filled symbol of American culture…it can be imitated, but not duplicated. Never can someone get the same exact Twinkie taste. It’s impossible.

-Twinkie the Kid

1. For years, we described the less tech-savvy among us as being unable to set the clock on a VCR. It’s time we unplug that expression and come up with something more relevant. In 2012, what’s a better way to say you’re not so hot with all this newfangled computer stuff?

“I’ve never twittered.”

2. If my baby book is to be believed, my first Halloween costume was a pumpkin, which I followed up in subsequent years with Big Bird and a purple Honker. What was your first Halloween costume?

Had to enlist the help of my mom on this question:

Big Bird – it was a big bird hat and your winter coat – you just went across the street, but it was your first official trick or treat.

So take that Mitt.  If only there were pictures.

3. Growing up in North Jersey, we had our share of memorable field trips—The Land of Make Believe, Turtle Back Zoo, Waterloo Village, Hershey Park, various museums in New York—but my clearest memory is about a trip that wasn’t taken. After the bombing of Pan-Am Flight 103, our scheduled field trip to Newark Airport was canceled. When a classmate asked our teacher what one thing had to do with the other, she said, “You might get kidnapped by terrorists.” It’s a wonder any of us ever flew again. What was your best, worst or most memorable field trip?

Chicago. 3 hour drive from where I grew up, but in 5th grade we went to the Museum of Science and Industry. I always loved that place as a kid.

Carroll H. “Beano” Cook
September 1, 1931 – October 10, 2012

“Well, we fooled ‘em again.”

-Beano Cook

Watch this video to see more of what’s so loveable about Beano.

]]> http://www.miketufano.com/2012/10/11/beano-cook/feed/ 0 http://www.miketufano.com/2012/08/25/neil-armstrong/ http://www.miketufano.com/2012/08/25/neil-armstrong/#comments Sat, 25 Aug 2012 20:22:35 +0000 Mike http://www.miketufano.com/?p=488

Neil Armstrong
August 5, 1930 – August 25, 2012

That’s one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind.

-Neil Armstrong

Last year we had 3 of these contests going, we’re kicking it up a notch. Just not all the way to 11, because that might get a bit excessive. So let’s do this. Join one or join them all.  But hey, don’t be a weenie.  Join them all.

Survival Football

The easiest and hardest all at the same time.  Pick one NFL game each week. If they win you move on, if they lsoe you’re out. You can only use each team once.

Join now

Group ID:  5974
Password:  gobears

 College Pick’em

This one is just like it sounds. Pick the college football games each week.  All games will be picked against the spread.  Why?  Because anyone can pick that kU is going to lose each week, but do you know if they’re going to lose by more or less than 44 point?  That’s where the real prognostication comes in. Your lowest weekly score gets dropped from the overall standings.

Each week in this league we’ll be picking all the games involoving Big XII teams, all games involving an AP Top 25 team, as well as an occasional other interesting game as deemed by Yahoo.  Cause Yahoo likes interesting games.

Join now

Group ID: 4912
Password: gostate

NFL Pick’em

No spreads for the NFL Pick’em.  Instead it’s all about the confidence points. You pick the winner of every game each week. But then you assign points based on your confidence level. If you know for sure the Bears will beat the Chiefs (cause, duh), then give that pick 16 points. If you don’t have a clue who will win between the Cardinals and the Packers, cause it turns out they both really suck, then give it 1 point. Less to lose that way.

Join now

Group ID:  13278
Password: gobears

Salary Cap Football

New this year! This is like fantasy football, except that we can all have the same team if we want, so there are an unlimited amount of players.  Each player has a value that changes each week. Buy low, and keep their salary low. You can change as much as you want, you just have to have a full roster, and you have to stay under the salary cap.

Join now

GroupID:  1134
Password: gostate

I learned a lot yesterday watching the world try to make sense of tragedy.

I learned that it’s completely ok to take children to movie theaters to see movies that they probably are too young to see.  That it’s wrong for people to be in movie theaters if they’re making too much noise and disturbing others and that personal rights to enjoy a movie preempt the rights of everyone else in the theater to see the movie. I learned that this isn’t a discussion anyone can have because it’s rude to kill people in a theater. And it’s just that simple.

I learned that it could have been me because I’m a fan of Batman.  I learned it could have been you because you go to midnight movies. I learned that it was almost your friend because they were in Colorado.  I learned it was someone just like us because they were on Twitter, too. I learned that it could have been any of us, and it had to be all of us.   And it’s just that simple.

I learned that community is locally global. I learned that if you don’t think globally, you can ruin your local and global perception. I learned that right here at home can mean across the street or a thousand miles away. It’s just that simple.

I learned that in times of tragedy no one wants anything to be politicized, theologized, or philosophized. I learned that no one can speak without doing one or all of those. I learned that the loudest voices aren’t the ones that want to be political, but the ones that are worried it will become political. I learned that nothing can be separated from politics, theology, and philosophy. And it’s just that simple.

I learned that if we had stricter gun laws things like this wouldn’t happen. I learned that if only someone in the theater had a gun the madman would have been stopped. I learned that guns don’t kill people, people do, and if they didn’t have guns they couldn’t kill people. And it’s just that simple.

I learned that all things happen for a reason and that there’s no reason for any of it.  That there’s a demonic stronghold on the Denver area and that God had everything and nothing to do with this. I learned that God allows evil. And it’s just that simple.

I learned that we need someone to blame. The inability to discern mental health. The parents who bring a child to the theater. The industries that glorify violence. The society that makes it so easy to get and use guns. The right. The left. The center. The gunman. And it’s just that simple.

I learned that when we can’t understand we look for answers. We look for solutions. We all mourn together, and we just need something. Anything. We know we can’t go back, so we just need to move forward.  And so it’s all right. And it’s all wrong. And still we mourn.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
-Matthew 5:4

And still, it’s just that simple.

Instagram starts by lowering the resolution on the photo, dropping the quality right as you begin. Then as you filter, blur, and otherwise manipulate the photo you’re destroying it just a bit more each time.  So this morning I thought I would do a little experiment. I took a quick picture of my breakfast.  I think it looks pretty delicious:

Mmmm…. bacon⁴.  But I digress.  That’s just a quick cell phone shot. I didn’t even really try, but I think it looks pretty good.

Even the no filter version of this picture on Instagram doesn’t look as appetizing:

And from there I just kept layering on photos⁵.  Follow below to see the transformation of my breakfast from delish to giant blob⁶.

1. OK, sometimes stunning visual imagery. It is out there, you have to follow the right people
2. If you follow me on Instragram @RealMikeT, you’ll find that almost everything I upload is nofilter
3. Seriously! It’s ridiculous. If things are in the same depth of field but one is blurry and the other is not it looks ridiculous. Enhance the photos, don’t ruin them!
4. I realized this morning that people who follow me on Twitter have seen a lot more pictures of my bacon than they have of me. They probably appreciate that.
5. I also discovered there’s an Instagram jail for someone who keeps trying to upload photos. I’m currently in it. This post was meant to just be a series of Instagram photos, now it’s here instead.
6. Obviously this abuse is on purpose. It’s the first filter with each subsequent filter layered on top. But I think you get the point.

Two years ago LeBron James was a hero to everyone¹. He seemed like the ultimate good guy and everyone wanted him on their team. The problem, of course was that 29 teams couldn’t have him. Only one could, and as all know, he took his talents to South Beach.  And just like that, he became the villain².

The next two seasons have seen millions root against the Heat. Why root for the team of superstars that realized they couldn’t handle leading a team on their own, and had to all come together with the expectation of dominating the league for years.  But that didn’t happen the first year, and while they finished with the championship in year two, it was anything but dominant.  They didn’t even finish with the top seed in their conference, instead losing out to the injury plagued Bulls³.

But now LeBron has a ring, and suddenly the media wants to throw the “Now is he the next Michael Jordan?” question at us again. Anyone who understands sports knows that there can’t be a comparison between the two. Comparing players from different eras is next to impossible.

1. We almost forget how much everyone totally loved for him and rooted for the Cavs
2. I don’t know if he would have been that much of a villain had he gone to Chicago or somewhere else, but running off to be with Wade and Bosh to create their own super power certainly did it
3. Had Rose & Noah not been hurt in the playoffs, I feel pretty confident we’d still be talking about how they couldn’t get it done
4. I fully endorse hating the Yankees. They are pure evil. But I gave up on hating Duke a long time ago. They run a class program and Coach K is pretty freaking awesome
5. Please note, this is coming from a life long Bulls fan who can’t stand the Heat. So don’t accuse me of trying to paint a pretty picture of LeBron. I say keep hating him
6. Albeit in a completely arrogant and ridiculous manner