I Just Like Saying Weiner


In just two weeks Anthony Weiner has gone from being a congressman with a funny last name to being a congressman with an hilarious last name.  Add in a few pics of Weiner’s weiner and it can’t get much funnier than that.  But in the biggest overreaction of the 2010’s (twenty-tweens?) he’s now being told to resign behind more controversy than Joey Chestnutt’s near regurgitation in the 2009 Nathan’s hot dog eating contest.

Let’s take a look at the facts here… @RepWeiner tweeted a pic of his undies.  It was supposed to go to an adult female.  We don’t know if she wanted to see his pants tent or not, but she didn’t actually see the weinermobile.  She just saw the garage it was being kept in.  This may more may not have been the pattern for other women.  3? 5? 10? 60? 144?  Who knows?    What I do know is that not one woman has come forward to state that the pictures were unwanted.  Not one has come forward to say there was any sort of physical relationship.  Not one has come forward an alluded to any inappropriate activity with a minor.

So let’s recap:

  • Wiener has a weiner
  • Weiner likes to prove he has a weiner
  • Weiner probably likes to use evidence to see evidence of the lack of weiners on females
  • Weiner is married… a married man doing some of the above  is scummy and dirty
  • Weiner lied about being scummy and dirty for a week before he told the truth about being summy and dirty

So here’s the issue:  being scummy and dirty and lying is not illegal.  In fact, it’s a core part of being a politician, is it not?  Our country as founded on scummy, dirty liars.  It could be worse, in fact… he could be shooting for the highest office in the United States government while being 100% incompetent.

This is a scummy dirty thing.  Don’t get me wrong. But let’s not forget he hasn’t broken any laws that we are aware of.  While his actions don’t make him a victim, but any means, he is now becoming the victim of an overreaction by a generation that doesn’t understand how common his form of cheating is, as well as how a media that has consistently insinuated things without any evidence of them.

Did you watch the full press conference?  Someone asked if he had any inappropriate contact with a minor to which he correctly replied, “not to my knowledge.”  The media has since taken this as an opportunity to assume he has, when he was correctly stating that it was never his intention to do so, but being on the internet he has no way of knowing if anyone has lied about their age.

Weiner’s weiner is a private thing.  And it should have been left that way.  He accidentally made it private, but the rest of us can now as well.  He’s a congressman, which doesn’t take away his rights to a private life.  He doesn’t need to be forced to resign because of legal activities in his private life.  The voters will decide if he’s worthy of keeping his job.

Besides, forcing him to resign will deprive the rest of us from continuing to see the word “Weiner” in the headlines.  This is America.  We want our weiners!